I copied this from my notebook...I found myself needing to write but with no computer so here it is...copied from handwriting to my blog just for you :)
Right now I'm sinking into a gloriously comfortable leather couch in the student center, strategically placed to do some great people watching. Sadly, though, most of the people here are half asleep...including myself. So my mind started wandering and I pulled out my notebook to write it all down.
Last night my roommates and I stated what Caity would like to call some good old fashioned "soul diggin". Basically we want to start being there for each other - encouraging each other, holding each other accountable, and just plain listening. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. There's something different about friends who will actually take the time to do that.
But anyway, we started talking about God's grace. It's hard to truely realize the sufficiency of such grace. In fact, for me, it's hard to accept it sometimes. Sure, it's easy with the little stuff, a little white lie or seemingly harmless gossip. That's stuff I can forgive myself for, stuff I can easily forgive others for when it offends me. But then there's the big stuff. Things I regret, things that would ruin me if people found out. We all have something like that. That's when it's so hard for me to accept the free gift of God's grace. Suddenly it doesn't seem real. It doesn't seem good enough. I have trouble forgiving myself, so how could my Creator, who knows every incriminating little detail, even consider forgiving me?
And yet, He does. He forgives and more. He forgets about it. Psalm 103:12 tells us that God removes our sins as far as the east is from the west. They no longer exist - like it never happened. And He loves me. It doesn't matter what I do, He will never love me any more or any less. He already loves me as much as He possibly can. And I could take advantage of all this and say, I'm already guaranteed forgiveness, I might as well do it anyway, but how is that respecting the One who loves me unfailingly? How is taking advantage of someone's love showing them
your love in return? That's not the way to treat the man who suffered and died for my sins 2000 years before anyone else even knew I existed, let alone my sin. But he hung there, on that splintered, bloody cross for me. He endured the whips and the mocking for me. He literally went to Hell and back for me. For me. It's hard to believe, but at the same time impossible not to. And say what you want but I know my God loves me and He forgives me every day for every little thing I do wrong. I can't fathom it and I have a really hard time accepting it sometimes, but it's true and I'm learning that.
your love in return? That's not the way to treat the man who suffered and died for my sins 2000 years before anyone else even knew I existed, let alone my sin. But he hung there, on that splintered, bloody cross for me. He endured the whips and the mocking for me. He literally went to Hell and back for me. For me. It's hard to believe, but at the same time impossible not to. And say what you want but I know my God loves me and He forgives me every day for every little thing I do wrong. I can't fathom it and I have a really hard time accepting it sometimes, but it's true and I'm learning that. 
No comments:
Post a Comment