hope, frustration, and longing

"God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice, for they will be satisfied." (Matthew 5:6 NLT)

I read that verse yesterday during my quiet time and it opened so much in my mind. I began to feel hope, frustration, and longing all at once. I was hopeful because that's my heart right there - I long for justice. I know that's part of my purpose here: to see justice brought to even just a few women and children trafficked and forced into prostitution. God has given me a burning desire for justice. There are nights when I lie awake trying to think of things I can do to make others aware of what's going on in the world, what I can do to start making a change.

But that's when the frustration comes in. I often feel like I don't have enough influence to bring change or have a voice loud enough to be heard. I try to remember the verse that tells us "Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young" but sometimes it's not only that. Sometimes it's the fact that I'm only a college student living in the same town I grew up in. I haven't done anything to make people listen to me. I haven't had any traumatic experience to make people want to listen to me. But I do have a heart for justice and for the hundreds of thousands of women and children of this world who are forced to sleep with 10 or more men a day. I have a passion for those women and children who are raped too many times to count, but see no one put in jail for it.

But all this passion brings longing. A longing to do something. A longing to be back in Cambodia where I felt like I actually was making a difference. A longing to be out there changing things. I know it's not my time yet, but it's so hard to wait sometimes. I get scared that it will be too late. I know it won't but that's still in the back of my mind. But God's given me this passion for a reason. He knew exactly how I'd be feeling today. I know one day I'll reach my potential. One day I'll fulfill my purpose on this earth, but until then I'll continue learning and growing so I'm ready when the time comes.

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute." -Proverbs 31:8