And so, here I am, a few weeks later, doing my best to get through the next couple weeks. I hate to say it like that, though. I mean, I like to enjoy every day as best I can, savor each moment and remember that I can't get it back. And yet, here I am in the same place I always fall back on - I can't wait until this part is over.
As I'm writing that, though, I feel very convicted. I mean, God gave me this life. He gave me today and He gave me the opportunity to be at this amazing school with some amazing people learning amazing things that will, and already have, changed my life. Shouldn't I be more grateful than this? I feel like I should be praising God for all the stress I have, but I'm not. Actually, let me rephrase that, I know I should be praising God through all the stress and I'm not.
It makes me think of the story of Job. It's kind of a difficult book to read and if you take stuff out of context you can really screw up your theology, but it's such a good story. The devil himself comes to God and asks permission to ruin the life of Job, an extremely godly man. The Lord knows Job hasn't done anything wrong, he deserves no punishment, but he also knows what will come of Job's suffering for centuries to come. (I bet He even knew I'd be writing about it today!) So anyway, the Lord lets Satan do what he wants as long as he doesn't take Job's life. So the devil takes everything from Job: his family, his land, his pride, his health, everything he has. Talk about stress...Job must have been beyond just stress - he had to be in utter despair. I mean all that's really been taken from me is my sleep and my free time (and a little bit of my sanity). And still, immediately after Job is told that his house has fallen on his children, Job says this:
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart. c]">[c]
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised." (Job 1:21)
I mean seriously, Job? Your house has just collapsed and your kids are dead and that's what you have to say about it? "Praise the Lord"?? Does that blow anyone else away? Does it convict anyone else?
Like I said, I haven't exactly been praising the Lord in my stress. I haven't been cursing Him or anything, more neglecting Him. I try to spend my few minutes a day in the Bible and praying, but He deserves more than that, even if I don't like the circumstances around me. And that's another thing: He's unchanging. That means that just because the homework and the stress are piling up, it doesn't mean He's shrinking. He's just as huge and just as amazing as before.
I'm going to try to change my attitude though. I wasn't even thinking about any of this before I started writing, but God's convicted me in the past few minutes. I need to learn to praise Him throughout these next 13 days. So, God, may your name be praised.
and naked I will depart. c]">[c]
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised." (Job 1:21)
I mean seriously, Job? Your house has just collapsed and your kids are dead and that's what you have to say about it? "Praise the Lord"?? Does that blow anyone else away? Does it convict anyone else?
Like I said, I haven't exactly been praising the Lord in my stress. I haven't been cursing Him or anything, more neglecting Him. I try to spend my few minutes a day in the Bible and praying, but He deserves more than that, even if I don't like the circumstances around me. And that's another thing: He's unchanging. That means that just because the homework and the stress are piling up, it doesn't mean He's shrinking. He's just as huge and just as amazing as before.
I'm going to try to change my attitude though. I wasn't even thinking about any of this before I started writing, but God's convicted me in the past few minutes. I need to learn to praise Him throughout these next 13 days. So, God, may your name be praised.
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