when the world gets you down

Life can get discouraging sometimes can't it? Maybe not necessarily our own lives but other's lives. I guess just the world in general. I came across a video from a news channel (I forget which one...maybe CNN?) about a sex trafficking business that was recently busted in Houston. This sparked my interest (obviously, since my passion is for victims of this crime) and I began searching for more information about sex trafficking in the US. Let's just say I was deeply discouraged.

New Jersey, my own state, has the highest number of strip clubs in the US. It has about 600 known sex establishments. And it's such a small state! But as I was reading this I was listening to my music and I heard the words "I will not forget that nothing is impossible." What great timing! Just when I was getting so discouraged and feeling as though this disgusting cycle and black hole of human trafficking could never be put to a stop I hear the words "nothing is impossible" and I realize my little faith.

But as much as I wish I had big faith, I guess little is okay for now right? After all, Jesus did say that faith like a mustard seed will move mountains. Have you ever seen a mustard seed? It's tiny! So I guess faith a little bigger than that can get rid of human trafficking right?

I think it's about our hearts. Do our hearts really long for these people to be free? Do they really have the faith that it can happen? And as I was thinking this, lo and behold the next song I hear says "give me a heart after your own heart." Weird. God was really working through my music tonight! But I thought, yes that's what I want. A heart after God's heart. A heart that reflects His heart that desires freedom and justice.

I need to remember that God is good. (Coincidentally, the next song said "you are good and your love endures). God did not desire for these people to be slaves. He wants them to be free. He wants them to experience the love he has for them. It's terrible what these people experience...I can't even imagine. But the fact that people are sinful and not good, doesn't mean that God's not good. I can't give up on him. He is good and there's nothing else to it. I need to trust him that he knows what he's doing.

Give me Jesus

In the morning when I rise...when I am alone...when I've come to die...give me Jesus.

The memories that come with that song...

In Cambodia this summer I heard that song all the time. Jenna sang it a lot in the morning when most everyone was still sleeping. Suprisingly I woke up pretty early there usually and I usually woke up to her singing it. For those of you who don't know Jenna she has an amazing voice. A gift from God...it can't be anything else. There's nothing like waking up to a gorgeous voice crying out and asking for Jesus in every aspect of your life. It really set the pace for the day for me. I wonder if she even knows I heard her most mornings...?

We sang that song last night at Fuel, which is a college youth group type of thing. We sang a ton of good songs last night but that one got me. I think because of that memory that comes along with it. I've had Cambodia on my mind almost constantly lately with trying to plan another trip and a song that triggered a memory from Cambodia just tipped the glass for me. As we sat there thinking about asking God what His will is for our lives we sang that song...Give me Jesus...and I almost cried right there. That's what I want. I want Jesus' will in my life. Every minute of every day. I want to know what He wants to do with me.

So that's my prayer tonight. Give me Jesus. Thanks to my beautiful friend Jenna that song has taken on such deep meaning and thanks to Fuel it's been renewed in my life. But most of all thanks to God it's going to happen. He's going to give me Jesus as long as I keep asking.

new year's resolutions

I don't normally make resolutions for the new year but this seemed like the year to do it. I'm not sure why...it just seemed necessary. Is it cheating since they're a few days late? Here they are in no particular order:

• spend more time reading the Bible
• pray intentionally every night
• go back to Cambodia
• keep in touch with friends
• get back in touch with older friends
• be more outgoing
• raise my gpa
• be more optimistic
• learn to say no
• get more sleep...at night not in the afternoon
• do something I never thought I could do
• make at least one new friend
• get to know a teacher as a person not just a teacher

I'm sure I'll come up with more...those are just from the past day or two. I guess I should get started on that more sleep one. Goodnight!!